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12/22/05 08:24 pm

so yeh. long time. i am happy to say that i am finally getting out of here. in about 4 weeks i am moving to texas. to be with the boy that i am totally in love with, and to start my life. he will be out here the day after christmas which makes me happy. my life has totally changed because of him, and i cant wait to see how it will change when we are together for good. yes i am going to marry him. not now. but soon.

leaving soon but not without seeing one more new years eve gwar show in richmond. i would not miss that shit for the world.

things are stressful right now with work and my car acting up. but it is all going to be worth it in a few weeks.

10/16/05 06:39 pm

so saturday i got sent home from work. which has never happened. it was over some stupid bullshit, and i was really tempted to just say fuck it and not go back tomorrow. it was extremely ridiculous, and a waste of everyone's time. i am not excited about going back to that place tomorrow, but it is only til the 26th, cuz after that i have 4 days of vacation and then i am in the new store. after that, i am not too sure. there is a very definite possibilty that i will be moving in the next few months. i have someone wonderful in my life, and i want to make the most of it. i dont see the point in staying in a town i hate, at a job that is stressing me out way more than neccesary, when i could be so happy. obviously i have a lot of things to think about, but so many things have been convincing me that i should leave. my family of course has an opinion, most of them dont want me to leave (my dad and brother mainly) which i expected. but i cant do things to make other people happy forever. as much shit as i talk, i am sure that i would miss va so much. but that cant keep me here forever. but if i dont take a chance on something that feels so real, and someone that makes me so happy, then what is the point?

9/10/05 03:25 pm

so back in newport news. it is started to get to me. a lot. the people here are just idiots. i love being close to my family. but i hate how people have bitched at me for living in richmond for the past 5 years, and now that i am home, they are too busy to hang out with me. i started skating a couple weeks ago. given my graceful nature, you can figure out how that is going. i dont suck horribly, i am just too afraid of falling i guess.

things with the boy have taken an interesting turn in the past couple of weeks. i am not too sure what happened. but hes coming out here in october, and i cant wait. going out to texas was one of the best things that i have ever done, and it is so great how things are working out with it. i know for us to have a serious future things will have to change pretty severely for one of us, but well worry about that then. and just enjoy right now.

i am going to be 23 in a little less than a month. what do i want? gwar tickets and a new board.

i do miss richmond a little. except for the fact that i havent gotten my security deposit back for my joke of an apartment. they are being difficult and im pissed, of course.

work is the same i guess. i make less money there, but i do less work as well. the girls there are so awesome, and all, but hampton is not fun. and i dont really like being referred to as "the white girl" at work. bitches.

8/14/05 01:56 pm

gwar was fucking great. the opening bands sucked big time. big time. so we resorted to talking to random people in the crowd. like always. i used to laugh at the people at shows that were like i have seen this band 10 times, they are my life!! but i found myself telling people that this was my 11th gwar show. so i guess i should shut up. i defintely left that show covered in bruises, my belt buckle ripped off, the button on my skirt ripped, and one of my earrings had gotten ripped out at some point as well. i really do not remember all of that happening. but i had a great time. and no one got arrested, so that is always a bonus. AND they are playing in norfolk october 21st. yaaaay. with a dozen furies. that will make me laugh so hard that milk will come out of my nose.

i was in richmond the other day. but i left my cell phone at home so i couldnt call anyone. i was up there to get my hair dyed and whatnot. i am defintely sort of glad that i dont live there anymore. that is not to say that i love it here. i definitely do not. but i have to get a lot of shit straightened out before i plan any big moves. so it is ok for now.

work is decent now. i am not all stressed out. i have time to do things. my boss is awesome. and the girls i work with are really great. but the store isnt in the greatest area so my comission sucks a little bit. but that will change in a couple of weeks. so that is ok too.

this guy. oh boy. i have the biggest crush ever on him. and he knows it. he knows it! which sucks. i cant do that long distance thing again. it sucks. it never works out. that is just my experience though of course. i guess we will just have to see. even though i am convinced that we are going to get married on top of a mountain, with garlands of fresh herbs and you wont be invited!!!!!

8/3/05 11:07 am

finally back from vacation. my last day in richmond was interesting. one of my co workers bought me a huge thing of balloons, and as we were putting them in the car, they came off the ribbon and floated off..is that symbolic or what?!?!? then i moved the last stuff out of my place, and drove to newport news. my mom and i drove down to nags head and i spent three awesome days at the beach with my family. and yes, i did burn. sort of bad. but that is ok.

wens morning i was up at 4 to begin my journey to texas. long story short, i got there about 2 hours later than expected cuz our plane was delayed and we even had to switch planes at one point. but it was all worth it. i had such an awesome time in texas. better than i thought i would have. there wasnt an awkwardness between us. at all. i hung out with his friends, his parents, had some of the best food known to man, went to the alamo, all over san antonio, austin, a snake farm!!! then the last nite i was there we went to this club, which ended up being a goth club and pitbull daycare played there. im sure no one knows who they are but i used to love them so i was freaking out. i had about 45 mins of sleep before i had to get on the plane back home. awesome.

but it was so great. he was even sweeter to me this time than he has been in the past. i think i opened like one door for myself while i was there. hes so fucking sweet. and yes, the crush is back full force. goddamit!!

7/15/05 01:38 pm

this fucking weather. fucking richmond. make up your goddamn mind!!! my head feels like it is going to cave in. fucking sinuses and shit. the worst part is that i have to go back to work in about 20 mins. sure it is only 4 1/2 more hours, in theory, but i would rather just go to sleep.

tomorrow means i only have one more week left here. my parents are coming up to help me move stuff tomorrow. so for about a week i wont have a couch, computer, stereo, stuff like that. i can deal with it, i guess.

i am looking so forward to my vacation. it pretty much will be the coolest thing ever. i hope so anyway. i definitely need some time at the beach with my family. hopefully there wont be a hurricane, like last year. it will be awesome though. and then there is texas... it will be fun. i know it will be awesome, i think i might be surprised at how much fun i am actually going to have.

plus i found out that zao and misery signals are playing down there when im there. while im not into that kinda stuff too much anymore, it would still be fun. plus seeing him at a show like that would make me laugh a lot. you dont have to understand that. its ok.

im stretching my ears back out. they will be 2s as soon as i get my rings in the mail. right before graduation i just took everything out. i freaked out. it was very strange. i still wear my septum ring most of the time, but it is a big no at work. i used to think that i would refuse to work somewhere where they wouldnt allow piercings. it is so weird how much i have changed in the past few years. i found journals and all that kinda shit while i was packing, and the stuff i used to write is so depressing. we waste so much time focusing on what we dont have, instead of appreciating what we do have.

my car is about to eat it. i feel so bad for her. like everything that could be wrong with it is wrong. hopefully i will be able to remedy that by buying a new one shortly. but that will just have to wait.

if you are in richmond, you better be at the gwar show on the 6th. it is gonna be awesome. best show ever!!

7/10/05 06:25 pm

i have less than 2 weeks left here in richmond. since i have been packing, i have been thinking a lot. i am really happy about leaving, but it is so weird. this place has been my life. and im leaving. it is so weird. but i had a conversation with a friend the other day, and it made me realize that i cant stay here forever. i am not too sure how long i will stay in newport news/hampton though either. i had learned that you never really know what is going to happen, until it actually does.

so i have a sunburn. i decided that since i am going to be in the sun quite a bit in a couple weeks, i need to do something to prevent a horribly revolting sunburn. i guess i did too much though! oh well.

i bought my ticket the other day. to texas. i am so fucking excited. everytime i talk to him i get more and more excited, just cuz it is going to be so much fun. and i havent ever done anything like this before. like travelling by myself and all that, except to nova, but that is way different. i am defintitely looking forward to the many mexican boys that everyone says fill the towns in texas. maybe i will entrance some of them with my killer spanish skills. yehh right.

i bought new glasses. i look like clark kent with them. you heard me right.

7/3/05 09:50 am

gwar is playing in richmond on august 6th!! fucking a buddy. of course it is like the weekend after i move. of course. the weird part is that my mom knew about the show before i did. i guess im getting too old to keep up with this shit.

6/26/05 04:57 pm

so my last day at work is july 23rd, which means that is quite possibly going to be my last day in richmond. i am happy about this. i know i am going to miss so many things, but i need to get out of this city. it has been almost 5 years, and it is time for a change.

on the 24th i will be going to the beach with my parents and brother for a few days. i will no doubt get burnt as shit, cuz i am the whitest person ever, but i will be the happiest person ever because i love the beach.

since i have that whole week off, paid vacation and all, i decided that for the rest of the week i am going to texas. texas is my mecca. and of course the added bonus is that i will be staying with joseph for a few days. i miss him. and this trip is gonna definitely let both of us know where we stand. i am looking forward to cowboys, and heat, and steak (sorry erika). but again all of this is in the planning stage, leaning towards definite. the weird part is that my dad is supporting all of this. he never even met this guy, but he is researching all this texas stuff and showing me maps. it is weird. maybe you have to know my dad to understand how fucking weird that is.

6/10/05 08:47 pm

this has been one of the weirdest weeks ever. i dont really know what the hell happened, but the other day my boss sat me down and apologized for everything she has ever said to me. and how shitty she has been to me. i dont know what happened. i am still confused. she has been so much nicer to me lately. but she keeps hugging me, and that needs to stop. she dont know me like that.

a strange man was knocking on my door last nite for a long time. sometimes living by yourself is not cool. i didnt answer the door obviously. but i had my bat ready. if that motherfucker wants to dance, its his funeral.
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